Fran is a final year Theology student at the University of Leeds, and an all-round wonder woman.
I still class myself as
fairly new to this whole 'being a woman of God' thing. Every time I think I'm
getting somewhere I suddenly find a whole load more stuff I need to get clued
up on... I find I get pretty caught up in needing to know all of the answers
but this, for so long, has felt like a battle I am definitely losing.
I'm a third year Theology
student... That's how seriously I took the 'getting clued up' - and I do love
it. But I have recently discovered where I'm going wrong.
No amount of knowledge, no amount of right answers or convincing facts
can replace the need for self-acceptance, for a loving and trusting
relationship with God. I don't expect this is something new for you, you've
heard it all before, right? Me too.
Being a woman of God is a true
blessing, it has given me a new outlook on the world, my life, myself. It has
given me new friendships, new opportunities, all of which I am incredibly
grateful for. But, it has also presented me with new ideals, new expectations
of myself, new people to compare myself to.
It’s no bad thing for me to
reassess my priorities and the expectations I have of myself. But the danger I
have succumbed to time and time again is finding myself unworthy or lacking in comparison
to the wonderful women of God I am so blessed to have in my life, and even
those I just admire from afar.
Once again I found comfort in
reading up on it, I read all the books that reminded me of my God-given worth -
God thinks I'm beautiful... He has a plan for me... He's pursuing me... He will
use me for some great deeds. I knew it all, but it didn't FEEL true.
Here's where I realized that I
needed a head to heart experience. I
needed to truly believe in what I knew in my head and to learn how to act like
that. Part of being a woman of God these days is wearing the beauty that God
blessed you with and not being afraid of it.
Society tells us that there is
always something we need to change or someone we should aspire to look like.
Yet the beauty I see in my sisters in Christ is not a constant need for 'stuff'
they don't have or a beauty that is painted on pristinely each morning along
with some designer labels. The beauty I see in them is God, they are
comfortable in their own skin and they know their worth. Their smiles are
genuine and their joy is so real, it’s not fleeting or unattainable, it is
constant and ever present.
This is the lesson I'm
learning, to believe in the truths of Christ that he has written in every aspect
of my being and not the lies of a society obsessed with physical appearance or
outward wealth.
I am rich in all the things
that truly matter.
Now I’m not great at noticing
in myself the beauty or gifts that God has blessed me with but obviously God needed
to sort that out, and He did!
God challenged me this New
Year at the Homecoming Youth2000 retreat, through a wonderful priest, to learn how
to accept a compliment. He asked me where I thought compliments came from and I
came up blank. He explained that a compliment is given selflessly, through
love…
And where does selfless love
come from? GOD.
Next time someone compliments
you don’t make your excuses, just say thank you. God is showering you with love
in that moment, don’t reject Him. This was the challenge that priest gave me
that day and the challenge I pass on to you today. We often bat away
compliments – ‘Oh this old thing, I’ve
had this for years!’ ‘Oh no, you should see her do it, now that’s talent!’
– but in doing so we deny His affection. Being a woman of God in the 21st
Century means we have a duty to wear our
God-given beauty and this can start with as little as accepting a
compliment!
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